The Manners of Companionship

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The Author – [1]

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The Shaykh – rahimahullâh – said: [2]

Know O pious brother – may Allâh make our affairs good – that the manners of
companionship and good relationships are of various types, of which I will explain,
such as will show the person of intellect the manners of the Believers and the
Pious; and come to know that Allâh the Most Perfect, the Most High has made them a
mercy and helpers towards each other, which is why the Messenger of Allâh sallallâhu
‎ﷺ said,

 “ “The example of the Believers, in their mutual love and
mercy is like the example of a body, if one part feels pain, then all of the body
suffers in sleeplessness and fever.” [3]

And he ’‎ﷺ said,

 “ “The Believer
to the Believer is like a solid building, one part supporting the other.” [4]

The
Prophet ’‎ﷺ also said,

 “ “The souls are arrayed armies, so those who knew
each one another before, will be friendly … ” [5]

So if Allâh intends good for His servants, He grants them companionship of the
people of the Sunnah, righteousness and adherence to the Religion.; and keeps him
free from the companionship of the people of innovations. The Prophet
ﷺ said,

 “ “A person is upon the religion of his friend, so let every one
of you look to whom he keeps as a friend.” [6]

‘About a person, do not ask, but ask about his companion;
Since every companion follows his friends.’

From the manners of companionship:

Good Manners

Good manners with the brothers, peers and companions, following the Messenger of
Allâh ‎ﷺ as he said, when it was said to him, What is the
best of what a person is given? So he replied, Good manners.” [7 ]

Making One’s Opinion Good

From the manners of companionship is behaving well regarding the faults that he
sees of his companions, since Ibn Mâzin said,

  “The Believer seeks excuses for his
brothers, whilst the hypocrite seeks out their faults.”

And Hamdûn al-Qassâr said,

  “If one of your brothers commits an error, then seek ninety excuses for him, and if
not, then you are the blameworthy one.”

Companionship with the Believers

To keep companionship with one whose Religion you trust and who is trustworthy, both
inwardly and outwardly. Allâh – the Most High – says,

Forms of Companionship

For the Shaykhs and elders: with respect to service and to carry out their needs.
For those of the same peer group and those of the ‘middle rank’: with sincere
advice, giving what you have and being prepared to carry out their wishes. For the
students and younger ones: by guidance, teaching of manners, carrying out what
knowledge demands, guidance to the manners of the Sunnah, rulings concerning the
matters of the heart, and to guide them to develop good manners.

Overlooking Mistakes

From the manners of companionship is overlooking mistakes of the brothers and not
reprimanding them. So al-Fudayl Ibn ’Iyâd (d.187H) said,

  “You will not find anyone who believes in Allâh and the Last Day, making friendship
with those who oppose Allâh and His Messenger, even though they were their fathers,
sons, brothers or their relatives. For such He has written îmân (faith) in their
hearts, and strengthened them with a spirit (proofs, light and guidance) from
Himself. And We will admit them into gardens underneath which rivers flow, to dwell
therein forever. Allâh is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. They
are the Party of Allâh, indeed it is the Party of Allâh that will be successful.”
[8]
  “Chivalry is to overlook
the mistakes of the brothers.”

Ibnul-A’râbî (d.231H) said,

  “Forgetting the harms
caused by the brothers, causes you love of them to persist.”

So it is binding upon
the Believer, that he avoids seekers of this world, since they will bring him down
to the level of seeking it, and this will distance him from his salvation and it
will distance him from remaining alert and being aware of it. Rather, he must
strive hard in attaining the companionship of the good and the seekers of the
Hereafter. Therefore, Dhun-Nûn (d.245H) said to the one whom he advised,

  “Accompany the one whom you will be safe from outwardly, and whom – when you see
him – it helps you in doing good and reminds you of your Lord.”

Agreement with the Brothers

And from them is: not to differ much with the brothers, but continue agreeing with
the brothers in those things allowed by knowledge and the Sharî’ah. Abû ’Uthmân
said, “Agreeing with the brothers is better than showing compassion for them.”

Leaving of Envy

That he does not envy the signs of Allâh’s bounty upon them. Rather, he should be
happy for that and praise Allâh for it, just as he would praise Allâh if it were
seen upon him. Allâh – the Most High – censures the envious one:

The Prophet ‎ﷺ said, “Do not envy one another.” [10]

To Keep a Feeling of Modesty

That he has hay①(modesty and shame) at all times, as he – ’alayhis-salâm – said,

  “Or do they envy
men for what Allâh has given them from His bounty.” [9]
 “ “Îmân (faith) has sixty or seventy odd branches, the most excellent of them is
witnessing that none has the right to be worshipped besides Allâh, and the lowest
branch is removing something harmful from the road, and hay①is from îmân.” [11]

He ‎ﷺ – also said,

 “ “Hay①is from îmân, and îmân is from Paradise.
Speaking obscenely is from coarseness and coarseness is from the Fire.” [12]

Companionship of the Dignified

To accompany the one who he has a feeling of respect for, so that this prevents from
acting contrary to the Sharî’ah. ’Alî radiallâhu ’anhu said,

  “Enliven your feeling
of hay①(shame), by sitting before those whom you feel shame.”

Ahmad Ibn Hanbal
(d.241H) – rahimahullâh – said,

  “I have not been led into calamity except by
accompanying those before whom I do not feel shame.”

Showing Happiness

To have cheerfulness of the face, kindness of the tongue, largeness of the heart,
outspreading the hands, withholding anger, leaving off pride, keeping people’s
honour in mind and showing happiness at their companionship and brotherhood.

Companionship of the Wise Scholar

From good companionship is that he does not accompany except a Scholar, of a person
who is mild, intelligent and has knowledge. Dhun-Nûn – rahimahullâh – said,

  “Allâh
has not disrobed any one of His servants or a robe better than intellect, and has
not adorned him with a necklace better than knowledge, nor adorned him with
anything better than mildness. And the completeness of that is taqwâ (fear of
Allâh).”

Giving Sincere Advice

Having a clean heart with regards to the brothers and advising them, as Allâh – the
Most High – said:

  “Except he who comes to Allâh with a clean heart.” [13]

Sarî
as-Saqatî (d.257H) – rahimahullâh – said,

  “One of the best manners of righteousness
is having a good heart as regards the brothers and to give them sincere advice.”

Not Breaking Promises

Since this is from hypocrisy, and he – ’‎ﷺ – said,

 “ “The signs of the hypocrite are three:
When he speaks he lies, when he makes a promise he breaks it and when he is entrusted he acts
deceptively.” [14]

Sufyân ath-Thawrî (d.164H) – rahimahullâh – said,

  “Do not make a promise to your
brother and then break it, so that love turns to hate.”


Footnotes

1. He is the muftî and faqîh, Abul-Barakât Badrud-Dîn al-Ghazzî. For his biography,
refer to Shadharâtudh-Dhahab (8/403-406) of Ibnul-’Imâd and al-A’lâm (7/59) of
az-Ziriklî.

2. From Âdâbul-’Ishrah wa Dhikrus-Suhbah wal-Ukhuwwah (p. 9-20) with the checking
and authentication of hadîth based upon that of Shaykh ’Alî Hasan al-Halabî and also
Shaykh Mashhûr Hasan Salmân.

3. Related by al-Bukhârî (no. 6011) and Muslim (no. 2586), from an-Nu’mân Ibn Bashîr
radiallâhu ’anhu.

4. Related by al-Bukhârî (no. 481) and Muslim (no. 2585), from Abû Mûsâ al-Ash’arî
radiallâhu ’anhu.

5. Sahîh: Related by al-Bukhârî (6/369) with ta’lîq (suspension), from ’‘ishah
radiallâhu ’anhâ. It was connected by Abû Ya’lâ in al-Musnad (no. 4381) with an
isnâd whose narrators are from as-Sahîh – as occurs in al-Majma’ (8/88) of
al-Haythamî.

6. Hasan: Related by Ahmad (2/303), Abû Dâwûd (no. 4812) and at-Tirmidhî (no. 2484),
from Abû Hurayrah radiallâhu ’anhu. It was authenticated by Imâm an-Nawawî in
Riyâdus-Sâlihîn (no. 174).

7. Sahîh: Related by Wakî’ in az-Zuhd (no. 423), Ibn Hibbân (1/427) and at-Tabarânî
in al-Kabîr (1/147), from Usâmah Ibn Sharîk radiallâhu ’anhu. It was authenticated
by al-Hâfidh al-’Irâqî in Takhrîjul-Ihy①(2/157).

8. Sûratul-Mujâdilah 58:22

9. Sûratun-Nis①4:94

10. Sûratush-Shu’arâ 26:89

11. Related by al-Bukhârî (10/484) and Muslim (no. 2564), from Abû Hurayrah
radiyallâhu ’anhu.

12. Related by al-Bukhârî (1/44) and Muslim (1/46) .

13. Sahîh: Related by Ahmad (2/501) and at-Tirmidhî (no. 2077) with a sahîh isnâd,
from Abû Hurayrah radiallâhu ’anhu.

14. Related by al-Bukhârî (5/289) and Muslim (1/76)

(NOTE: If you want to build a strong and powerful relationship with Allah, check out Islamia TV, where you can watch Islamic speakers from across the globe deliver inspiring and motivational courses. Learn more at www.islamia.tv.)



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